Old People

Okay, so two funny stories that made me laugh in the past 24 hours.

Today, Chris and I worked on some landscaping and so I made a quick trip to Lowe's. I needed to be in and out because we had a Home Owner's Association Block party today at our house. So I was waiting in line for about 5 minutes (which is pretty long if you really think about it) and as the line begins to move this 75 year old woman with a few things in her hands looks at the 5 of us in the line and says, "Okay, how pathetic do I need to look so you will let a sweet old lady in line?" WHAT? So you are 75 years old and you think that gives you a different set of life rules that includes you not having to wait in line?? Wait, are you serious? Does that kind of thing work with people? Oh yea, it worked with me. Me being the people pleaser and since she basically already stepped in front of me I said, "Sure go ahead." Then immediately starting wondering at what point in life do people start thinking they can expect special treatment just for living longer? I mean I totally get respect for elderly people and I am the first to help an old geezer if they need help at the grocery store or something, but when this lady basically demanded special treatment I got SO annoyed!!!

Quick other point, I really can't stand line-cutters!!! Age doesn't matter...line cutters suck! Something comes over me when I see people cut in line at the store, in traffic, wherever! I think it is my competitiveness plus rule following comes alive and makes me want to do everything possible to squash the cutting attempt! Yes, I am the lady in the car who tailgates the person in front of me to be sure no one tries to come up on the side if there is a lane ending or construction ahead! I am also the person who will stare at the lady who cuts in front of me - only for them to be blissfully unaware that I am staring much less knowing they cut in front of me! For some reason I still stare because it makes me feel better!

So let's talk about the other inappropriate things older folks say...

A neighbor couldn't come to our party today so he came over to let us know they wouldn't be attending. While he was he was at our house he asked me a question about our neighbors "So do those people not have enough money to fix their blinds?" I started laughing because I thought he was joking, did he really just say that? I quickly realized this 70 year old man was dead serious!

Chris and I were at a neighborhood bar in Cincinnati a couple of years ago and an older guy started talking to us, long story short he looked at me and said, "I bet you played sports. You have a good build." Oh yeah, I did some body building and competed in dead lift competitions you little jack hole. Note: Never tell a woman she must have played sports because she has a "good build". Translation for that comment in a women's mind: You have broad shoulders and look kind of butch and tough.

Another funny story comes from our little block party. So we have been in our house for just over a year. At our HOA meeting in February there were only about 5 people there and we had to pick roles for residents to take on in our HOA. At that meeting in the winter they looked at me and said "Do you want to be the treasurer or party planner?" Ummm...let me think abo...PARTY PLANNER! Is there really an option when those are my two choices?

So that is how and why we threw this party this evening. We invited the 30 households and just had a great little cookout. The party was great and after about 2 hours there were only a few of the men from the neighborhood left (all in their 60s). This was one of those times when Chris and I really started having fun! Something happened and next thing I know these men starting giving TMI (Too Much Information)!! Talking about how stoned they used to get, how much they used to drink and one old 65 year...wait for it...wait for it...mentioned how he used to...wait for it...take his clothes off all the time in college while drinking and would streak around his frat house!!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING? I have seen this guy for one year and have probably spoken to him 10 times and then this story comes out of him! He kept going on and Chris and I couldn't even look at each other! We were cracking up and kept catching either other's eyes and just tried to keep a straight face!

Another neighbor then threw in "Yeah, I used to role a joint before every class and I got straight A's, then I stopped smoking and got a B"

Another neighbor responds with "Oh yeah, French class was so much better to go to when I was stoned...I really don't know how I passed or graduated for that matter?"

There was just something hilarious/disturbing about how these guys were talking - you know when people laugh through their stories then it makes you laugh more!

By the way, we don't live in some shady area! After reading this blog it sounds like we live in a trailer park!

I am cracking up thinking of this story and I don't think a blog can do this justice!